New Starts -- the before and after

      Have you ever met people who seem permanently stuck?  i.e. unable to flex with the time, culture or stage of life and often lamenting what they no longer have? Have you ever found yourself looking back a lot, longing for the good old days?  found it hard to see the good in the new phase of life you find yourself in?
    I'm definitely in a new stage, in fact new starts on a number of fronts - one teen off to college, and the other one looking for college and for relaxation, intimate talk times and recreation with peers.  Just last year she was content with spending Friday afternoons weekend nights with us, playing games, watching movies or talking.  Now I definitely feel like an onlooker in her life, blessed when I get to overhear her conversations with sister and friends and gain more knowledge of her thoughts and emotions than I can face to face.
    Plus, two groups which were a vital part of my spiritual life these last several years have died.  Not completely, but their old forms are put away and they are merging into other groups, taking on other skins.
    So this morning I needed to deal with that. During the time I set aside to be quiet before God, read and pray, I started with writing and found myself crying. As Henri Nouwen says (paraphrased), grief is a form of prayer.  Crying not just about what I mention above, but about being on the over 50 side of life and my vulnerability to losing forms of activity and ability I had before. 
    After all, a good friend of mine and younger than me just underwent radical surgery this week to remove cancer.  Now I'm one of those with high and higher odds before me of disease which radically alters my lifestyle.
    The words of one of God's spokesman, Isaiah, echo in my mind.  "Forget the former things.Do not dwell in the past.  See I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"  ((Is. 43:18-19a)
I don't want to be stuck, and so I grieve.  When I face the sadness I feel about losing the old things, I can embrace the new.  I can fix my trust on God's love to be with me and directing the future events and course of my life.
    In fact, this morning I did just that.  I went to the practice/training for a new church site we are helping to start in October.  I met new peole and received hugs from familiar faces, Yes, I'll be losing continuity with many friends at my Menlo Park church site, but I'm excited and eager to launch into the new. God is doing  a new thing and I want to join in.