Last night we had a delightful dinner with a couple at our church My friend said, "I could go
to that church (mine also) for years and never meet anyone."
Her statement would shock most at my church. Over and over they hear newcomers to the church community say, "How nice people are here!" Or, "I tried it and stayed because of the community."
So what gives? Why is her perception so different?
This friend is from India, as is her husband. They both came to the US as teens and now they are in their middle years with teenagers. What is considered as "being nice" or "meeting" for her is so different from the fleeting smiles and quick conversations that my majority white Americans at my church have to given them.
When my friend from a relational culture says "meet" she means, "get to know."
Hard for Anglo Americans to understand the need of those from relational cultures to sit down and talk.
One of my pastors, who is very relationally oriented, visited one of our Cafes for Internationals. I and a team from my church were hosting these the last two years. We included in our Cafe night over an hour of time for building relationships, first over dinner and then in discussing questions put forth by the speaker. When my pastor who visited had helped formed a group similarly formatted with dinner and speaker, only twenty minutes were allowed to eat and then 15-20 for discussion - the rest was content. So she was shocked to hear that some said that our Cafes didn't allow people to get to know one another, that we needed to interact in a different venue.
I heard speak on public radio once a guru from India who was visiting the US. He pleaded with people to sit down and talk over a cup of tea.
Good idea. But who will initiate?
Next blog on this.
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