"I can't decide whether to do more counseling or to stop." My acquaintance brought up this issue as we walked the marshland. She'd brought it up twice earlier by e-mail and I felt her confusion.
In the past she's suffered abuse and has been through counseling and Biblical studies that have helped, but not completed, her healing. I'm sure she'd continue with counseling with no hesitation if it were free. The costs make anyone under forty who doesn't yet own one of these pricey Bay Area condos or homes think counseling is a wrong use of funds. After all, without insuranace coverage, it can range from $120 to $300 per hour.
Plus she might feel worse after counseling than if she tried to ignore and distract herself. Lacking a good support network of friends to help her with the emotional fallout of facing he pain also makes the decision hard.
Whether to continue in counseling or not is such a personal decision. I knew she valued my opinion, but I didn't want to just follow my opinion. By virtue of my being older than she in age and in faith-life, my words wouldn't roll off of her.
And, when there are so many factors to consider, so much I don't know about her and her situation, who am I to advise?
We observed white birds with spindly legs and long beaks in the shallow pond, Probably just a stop over for them in their migration. September, the season to get ready for winter.
"Is more counseling necessary for me or not?"
"The real question is one of timing."
"What?"
Was it my English (she's foreign born, but with excellent English) or the concept that was difficult. "Is this the right season for it?" The birds always know the season, when to start their 2,000 mile trek, where to stop. It's instinct. When you're been abused, it's hard to know or trust your instincts.
She looked at me with black eyebrows raised and eyes large, trying to decode my meaning. "You know, like summer, fall, winter. Is this the right season? It's not a now or never question, but a question of whether this is the right time."
That was a new idea for her and rolled up a blind, so she could look out a window to a fresh horizon.
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