Each His Own

Helping other people is my passion - whether it be help with their writing, or learning of English or help with emotional or spiritual issues. Sometimes I don't know when to stop trying to help.

I walk away from a conversation with a troubled person person and ponder it while I make dinner, do dishes and when I wake up in the morning. I pray for theperson and wonder if I should write an e-mail about what I didn't have the wisdom to say the day before, but then I decide I'm too busy for that. Yet guilt may linger.

God, how do you want me to view my part in people's growth process? How do I step out of feeling too responsible? How do I leave behind the fear that I said the wrong thing or omitted something very important to say?

Today I felt weary, unable to do what I'd intended to do--to work on my novel. But in taking care of an errand, I saw "Jigsaw Java Cafe" - a newly opened place in Redwood City for doing jigsaw puzzles while having a sip to drink in a bright and friendly atmosphere. On impulse, I went in.

Before, I've said that I could do jigsaw puzzles at home so it would be a waste to pay the $10 fee. Today I needed this place, this array of puzzles in a blue room with cheerful Celtic music. I intuited that using a different part of my brain, unrelated to assessing people's emotions and needs, would refresh me. And it did.

But even better, as I worked on a puzzle I found a wonderful metaphor that releases me from too big a burden of responsibility.

My host suggested which puzzle to do considering my time limits and my limited patience and skill. It was a 5 x 7 inch Santa puzzle carved from wood. It's pieces were quite unique, not at all like the rather uniform pieces of dime store puzzles. I asked, "how do it get started? Is it like a regular puzzle where I should start with the straight edges?"

The host told me that with this puzzle the edge pieces often won't look like edge pieces. Some pieces did have noticeably straight edges and I started with those. Several times I called for help from my host and she point me to a piece I was looking for--often one that I would never have guessed would go in that spot.

Sometimes the host put a piece in for me, but mostly she just supported me. She didn't take over. I was glad when I was done that I could say, "I did it!" At least, mostly.

Everyone has a puzzle to put together, their life. The piece they are given make an interesting or beautiful picture when arranged rightly.

Sometimes people around me will ask for help and then I can suggest or put in a piece for them. Mostly I stand by, watch, perhaps pray. Even when I try to help, my guesses won't always be right, as were true for the host today. But my supportive presence means a lot. Besides, it's not my puzzle.

Each has his/her own puzzle which that individual needs to put together. Whew. It's not mine to do.

Comments

[Rebecca LuElla Miller]

Great post, Carol, on multiple levels. First, I've learned to do a Sudoku puzzle or play a quick game of chess on my computer as a way of using that other part of my brain. It really is amazing how that can be refreshing.

Also, I love the metaphor! I don't know if everyone sees life in pictures or if it's just novelists. ;-) Anyway, your puzzle analogy is excellent.

And how gracious of God to multi-task for you--refresh you and give you direction for the very problem you were praying about.

Becky