I've learned lately about a curious American phenomena, something unfathomable to most Japanese.
Postcards Anonymous is an on-going global art and communications project dedicated to sharing secrets and dilemmas on postcards mailed to the compile in Vermont. He's created whole books out of these and many others are on the web gallery at www.postcardsanonymous.com.
The criteria for a secret is something you've never told anyone else.
When I told my students of English (mostly from Japan, one from Korea), they were astonished. They had no clue as to why someone would want to make their secret public. Why would someone want to expose what they are ashamed of?
I wonder if this urge to share secrets is a purely American phenomena, or something other countries with a western base would share? Do Europeans enjoy sharing secrets? Or is it only us strange Americans? Does the impact of Christianity on our culture have something to do with how we view exposing our failures and embarrassing things?
I think it does. The Bible says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for one another an dyou will be healed." (James 5:16a)
We believe that if we openly admit to one another our faults or wrong-doing, that we can break free of the cycle. Healing means here not only forgiveness and release from guilt and shame, but the ability to become different people.
Many times I've found that as I open up to another another person what I most fear making known, afterwards I feel God's acceptance. I find courage and wisdom to do differently. AAA and other groups are based on this premise.
Most Americans are not Christians, but they still have woven into the fabric of their being the remnants of these Christian ideas. That's why sharing secrets makes sense to them, although they leave out prayer - what makes deep and lasting change possible --but they still enjoy the feeling of acceptance that sharing secrets brings.
The four Japanese and one Korean in my English class all said they hated sharing secrets. I believe they felt it would lower them in another person's eyes and bring humiliation. "Keeping face" is the highest value, not openness as Americans cherish.
I'm not saying these woman would never share any secrets, but we're talking about when and how. I've have had many close Japanese friends share their secrets with me after mutually caring and helping friendships have formed, in which a basis for trust has been built.
I said in my last post that I would talk in this one about what difference does Easter make. I'd like too, and it does tie into this subject. But this already rather long for a blog post. So I'll say once more, next one!
Comments