We've enjoyed 23 years of marriage, and I really do mean enjoyed! Lots of surprises on the way. The latest has been how hard the transition is to being empty nesters.
We intentionally looked for an activity we could do together, and settled on "Encountering the World of Islam" - a weekly three-hour class with reading and writing requirements.
I do miss so much connecting to my girls on a daily basis.
I'm trying to figure out how and when I can have that with Collin. Collin's void is more about impact. He's trying to find ways to exercise his great nurturing and wisdom-giving abilities outside the home. I'm trying to do some of that also, but I can do it during his work week while he's immersed in the technical world.
So when we're together, we're sometimes at cross purposes.
We had a squabble last weekend that I'm still processing. I am so much more vulnerable and sensitive than usual because of the emptiness at home. And when I express my strong emotions, he sometimes becomes wordless.
I had given a plea for help which I thought was a clear, "I'm drowning!" It came across to him as a "kick in the stomach." Despite twenty-three good years of marriage we are still learning how to express our feelings and desires and respond to each others’ needs.
Why do such things happen? Not only because of male - female differences but our personalities and patterns of response to conflict.
We're fine now, but it's taken seven days to sort this out. Forgiveness comes soon, and understanding follows.
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